It’s six pm, Ima have coffee in an hour
I w a Fort skin again today. It w actually a vibe that.. it gave me something to feel other than other people’s feelings; w I don’t like to do. It’s like Ima Cosplay myself and that, like I say I’m a character in Fort.
I went out later w my clothes that I change out of; it just didn’t feel the same so maybe the clothes that Ima wear have something to do w it. It feels like something new that I may do all the time, like I say bc it allows me to not feel other peoples’ feelings. For some reason that’s something that is super important to me; also it is a way of not being manipulated. I feel that pathological narcissists force their feelings on other people as like a tip of the iceberg way of gaining manipulation of them; especially homeless people who want to get money out of me when I do not want to give, I feel.
I remember the issue I used to have w feeling like people were trying to, walk my legs when I w out and about; that’s one reason w being a character w make me feel better.
In Other News
I got some stuff done today. I w trying to sort out the highlighting of these passages again. I had not marked up some of them ready, so w not able to crack on w the way that 5.5 had given me that w supposed to make them all look the same. I still don’t k if they w, tho that w be a conversation that I w have to try and solve it if that happens
I have learned that 5.5 does so much more than I thought it w, it also gets more wrong than I thought it w. Ima learn all the time and be finding out new things that it w do; there seems no end to it.
And
My trainers came today. Ima check them out and see if they are okay for me wanting them, just before I get myself in them. This is the only way to make sure that I don’t send them back if I do this bc I only like them properly if I have been wearing them for a while; so like I say, just a quick check to see if they are something I like before I put them on; and no looking at them before I wear them, kinda.
Ima think about being upset when I feel I’m bullied. I feel that feeling that way, is just a way of me giving my power to them. It kinda feels like I have this sheepish energy when I have almost thought something like that. There are like this impulses in my mind and they are like almost thoughts and if I allow them enough then it feels like I am submissive to those people, in my body language energy. I feel all along, by feeling upset at gooner or whatever behavior I have been disempowering myself.
To Not Getting Upset At Gooner Behavior.
K
