Category: Uncategorized

I w thinking about the business; and how I c make sure that my landing page converts well.  It all started w a phone call to Royal Mail. I w on the phone and I had to wait half an hour.  There w this voice that w come over the phone every now and then and lie…

I had a beer down Ferry Meadows.  It w nice.  The sun w shining and there were lots of people down there. I realised that no one is judging me.  This w a huge revelation for me.  Like why am I judging people when they are not judging me. I felt bad for a minute. And then I realised…

I have calmed down somewhat.  I tend to get stressed.  I kinda canned the campaign; and I burnt a pan while I was doing it. My mind w racing and I felt so hopeless. I have reset.  It w my Christmas tree that did it. I realised that when I felt like I had to do something different…

I w gaslighting myself; that I had imagined that my cost per click had gone right back down to the proper price. Like w choice do I have; but to just wait for it to happen.  What am I even saying; Ima reasonably expect it to. Idk why I lost it so much lately.  I suppose that…

I’m scared the business w not work.  It’s not like I’m actually thinking that tho it is affecting my energy, and my positivity towards it. I suppose this is a long process and I’m in for the long haul. My self esteem goes up and down with this and it’s important that my self esteem is…

I feel my feelings coming back more and more. For the last week I have felt that my self esteem is tied up in the business, and that it failing w mean that I had no value.  This is not true. I am still heading towards health; and as my trip to the hospital taught me,…

I just told one of the Google experts where to go. It w obvious to me as someone w fully functioning empathy that his answer was total gaslighting; and emotional abuse. I can’t even begin to start where he went wrong; it w that glaringly obvious. I told him straight; I feel you are either…

Idk what to say; I’m changing every day; I feel different. I love the summer.  I wasn’t very well today tho I am feeling better now.  I’m starting to realise that everyone doesn’t hate me.  I guess that’s the shame talking, or lack of it. It’s hard to accept that I felt so bad about myself, completely worthless.  It…

I’ve kinda dialled back my expectations.  I think if I get one customer for every five thousand ads I w be okay.  I just wanna make a little bit of money; and up my savings a little bit, while working on the business; and then practice my craft and hopefully get good at it one day. I…

I got to thinking; all the like uncertainty and anger at Google; I w have felt all that regardless of whether the business makes money or not.  It’s just a thing that someone starting a business goes through and is totally normal. I kinda thought that these feelings meant that the business w fail.  I wasn’t expecting…